I am not sure what to write. It is so random. Maybe not. But I don't get it. Things are as blur as Gotham City is to Batman now.
Perhaps I had tortured myself long enough. Perhaps. I dunno. But any other time, I had successfully suppressed it. Or maybe I thought so. I mean I have training in such skills. And it might have done me good. Keeping my mind alive and sane. But I know things always had a limit. I might not cross the line yet, but the gut feeling says it is near.
When am I going to do so, I asked as always for a few years now. I had shaken off this feeling for countless times, but it came back to me. Each and everytime. I tried everything possible to abandon the feeling, but it just came back again. I really tried. Hard and with anything I have learned. It. just. want. to. come. back.
I had no idea of picking up clues or indications where shall I lead myself. I had seen things gone so awry on the other side, but all I can do is watch with fist clenched. Unable to strike. Unable to solve anything. It complicates as the drama folds out. And all I can do time and again is just smacking my head. Alot of things I had wanted to share, alot of personal stuff, happy or sad stuff, but in the end, I just kept to myself.
Sometimes, I realized that this might be it. But I just don't have the guts to open it out. All these years, I am in denial and so far I have covered it so well. But sooner or later, it will outlive me. It will eat me from the inside. Still, the guts, and maybe chance just won't budge and make way.
A friend had told me I might have show some emo-ness lately. Maybe there is a point there. But seriously, all I want is a release.
Still waiting.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
OK
Had a brief conversation with Bodhisattva Guan Yin.
It was fill with peace and hope.
No hatred, no curse, just peace.
I am ok now. Calmer and much more enlightened.
P/S: Thank you all for your concerns. Appreciate that.
It was fill with peace and hope.
No hatred, no curse, just peace.
I am ok now. Calmer and much more enlightened.
P/S: Thank you all for your concerns. Appreciate that.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Why So Serious?
I tell you seriously (pun intended)....The Dark Knight is truly awesome. One of the few movies I just won't say "Ok loh."
I tell you seriously....The Joker is simply fascinating. Not a lot of antagonist earn my respect. In fact, I think he is the only one in my books. I was scared for years of Jack Nicholson's version. I never liked clowns since then. But hell, the late Heath Ledger just bring a whole new fantastic version of Joker. He is sinister and unsympathetic, yet I enjoyed his every moves. I mean, you don't laugh at a sadistic crime, but I can't help it with Joker's antics.
*Spoiler Ahead*
His hospital visit, his "watch me make this pencil disappear" trick and his soon-going-to-be-quote-of-the-year confession to batman, "You complete me." I tell you seriously, The Joker makes watching TDK much more comedic then watching a comedy genre film.
*Spoiler Ends*
TDK is no typical hero-action-action-and-more-action movie. The characters buildup was unabridged. The plot just twist till you don't recognize the climax. The ending is not some cheesy hero-wins-hero-get-girl-happy-ending sequence; it just make you desperately waiting for the next sequel. It is truly inspiring.
I will definitely watch it again. Maybe at IMAX. I tell you seriously.
P/S: "Why So Serious" is going to be my tag line and inspiration for years to come.
I tell you seriously....The Joker is simply fascinating. Not a lot of antagonist earn my respect. In fact, I think he is the only one in my books. I was scared for years of Jack Nicholson's version. I never liked clowns since then. But hell, the late Heath Ledger just bring a whole new fantastic version of Joker. He is sinister and unsympathetic, yet I enjoyed his every moves. I mean, you don't laugh at a sadistic crime, but I can't help it with Joker's antics.
*Spoiler Ahead*
His hospital visit, his "watch me make this pencil disappear" trick and his soon-going-to-be-quote-of-the-year confession to batman, "You complete me." I tell you seriously, The Joker makes watching TDK much more comedic then watching a comedy genre film.
*Spoiler Ends*
TDK is no typical hero-action-action-and-more-action movie. The characters buildup was unabridged. The plot just twist till you don't recognize the climax. The ending is not some cheesy hero-wins-hero-get-girl-happy-ending sequence; it just make you desperately waiting for the next sequel. It is truly inspiring.
I will definitely watch it again. Maybe at IMAX. I tell you seriously.
P/S: "Why So Serious" is going to be my tag line and inspiration for years to come.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Keep In Touch of Life
Nothing much. Just a small reminder (to myself as well) that I'm still alive.
Assignments, as usual. Cliche.
Then, there is this headache that is bothering me, right after I had recover from flu. What's worrying me is that it just occur in my right side of my head. Weird, never had before. Was worrying it might be tumour. Ok, maybe too much Dr. House. Maybe it is true. Will see how it goes.
On a brighter note, I won a competition, maybe for the first time in my 20 years existence. Join this Nike Next Level contest on a day that I was sodamnbored. Just answer a few questions and wrote a slogan. Lucky enough to be the 5 winners of a RM200 Nike voucher. Whee. 5 you know. Just 5 people. Singapore one got 24 people won the thing.
Then there are assignments. Oh, had mentioned. Getting old. *snort*.
See me next time around.
Assignments, as usual. Cliche.
Then, there is this headache that is bothering me, right after I had recover from flu. What's worrying me is that it just occur in my right side of my head. Weird, never had before. Was worrying it might be tumour. Ok, maybe too much Dr. House. Maybe it is true. Will see how it goes.
On a brighter note, I won a competition, maybe for the first time in my 20 years existence. Join this Nike Next Level contest on a day that I was sodamnbored. Just answer a few questions and wrote a slogan. Lucky enough to be the 5 winners of a RM200 Nike voucher. Whee. 5 you know. Just 5 people. Singapore one got 24 people won the thing.
Then there are assignments. Oh, had mentioned. Getting old. *snort*.
See me next time around.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Found Nothing
Why the hell is there no stats of epilepsy in Malaysia?
Googled using keywords such as epidemiology, epilepsi, statisitic, prevalence, malaysia...
Even the noobass Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia gave a stupid statement concerning occurance of epilepsy in Malaysia:
Bagaimanakah kedudukan epilepsi ini? Malangnya, data mengenai epilepsi di Malaysia adalah terhad. Terdapat sedikit sahaja kajian yang telah dijalankan terhadap epilepsi. Ciri-ciri epilepsi di Malaysia adalah agak serupa sebagaimana yang dilaporkan di tempat-tempat lain. Daripada 165 kes yang dilaporkan, 42.4% merupakan epilepsi menyeluruh.
Googled using keywords such as epidemiology, epilepsi, statisitic, prevalence, malaysia...
Even the noobass Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia gave a stupid statement concerning occurance of epilepsy in Malaysia:
Bagaimanakah kedudukan epilepsi ini?
Geez. Wtf? They don't keep statistics? Can somebody with such data help please?
Malangnya......
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The Low Self Esteem Tiger
Lecturer: ....this is why snake hisses, dogs barks and tiger roars.
Me: (somewhere at the back) Dude, what if the tiger meows?
Jan: Damn. That will be a low self-esteem tiger.
It might be lame, but its the joke of the day. Had to laugh till the lecture ended 45 minutes later.
Me: (somewhere at the back) Dude, what if the tiger meows?
Jan: Damn. That will be a low self-esteem tiger.
It might be lame, but its the joke of the day. Had to laugh till the lecture ended 45 minutes later.
Razored
Sorry for the no-updates for a while. Beezee. Yes, Tia, I know you like updates.
And now I want to lansi abit. I got new phone. Teehee. Jz lemme perasan a bit k?
Anyway, my new tech pet is Motorola RAZR² V8.
Now, Im not going into the specs. You can get it here.
What I like about this phone is, first of all, the stylish look. Slim and sleek. And I had always craved for a clamshell. You know, the stylish way of answering a call.XD.
Besides, it runs faster, and I mean way faster than my previous gadget, E398. It comes with 420MB, which is enough for me to put as many songs that I can afford to listen in a day. And oh, the 2.0MP cam is enough for me to replace the VGA cam that I previously used. The only feature that it cannot compete with the E398 is of course the sound system. Then again, I chose style over sound for this.
Friends had complain that Motorola phones are not user friendly. It is friendly to me tho, just because I have been a loyal Motorola user that is.
Sleeker, Stronger, Smarter is its motto. Don't you think?
Market price is around 1100-1200, as of this post. But I got it for 900, thanks to a friend who mistakenly bought a wrong phone.
It is a major transition... as it is way too slim that sometimes, I missed it while trying to grab hold of it. And so is the width. It therefore makes it fragile. And I promised to take extreme care in handling it. A good way to improve my inability of handling stuff.
V8, I think I gonna love u lots.
And now I want to lansi abit. I got new phone. Teehee. Jz lemme perasan a bit k?
Anyway, my new tech pet is Motorola RAZR² V8.
Now, Im not going into the specs. You can get it here.
What I like about this phone is, first of all, the stylish look. Slim and sleek. And I had always craved for a clamshell. You know, the stylish way of answering a call.XD.
Besides, it runs faster, and I mean way faster than my previous gadget, E398. It comes with 420MB, which is enough for me to put as many songs that I can afford to listen in a day. And oh, the 2.0MP cam is enough for me to replace the VGA cam that I previously used. The only feature that it cannot compete with the E398 is of course the sound system. Then again, I chose style over sound for this.
Friends had complain that Motorola phones are not user friendly. It is friendly to me tho, just because I have been a loyal Motorola user that is.
Sleeker, Stronger, Smarter is its motto. Don't you think?
Market price is around 1100-1200, as of this post. But I got it for 900, thanks to a friend who mistakenly bought a wrong phone.
It is a major transition... as it is way too slim that sometimes, I missed it while trying to grab hold of it. And so is the width. It therefore makes it fragile. And I promised to take extreme care in handling it. A good way to improve my inability of handling stuff.
V8, I think I gonna love u lots.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Chaotic Scene
Short note on the ever-increasing drama in the political world of Malaysia.
Just as everybody thought that a new dawn has come for M'sia's politics, allegations smeared on the paper every now and then, accusing each other like 3 year-olds. "He said that just to ruin my reputation one." "I no friend with you anymore, because you report me of this." Good lord. What happen to all those development stuff that we are suppose to keep track on? What about government's progress on their promises since election? Now, the news are like entertainment tabloids. The Star's headline today: Head-On. Wtf? Will there be boxing rings and firecrackers and uncivilized crowds and dumbass commentators appearing now? Wtf is wrong with you guys? Grow up and do your fucking job. Serve us, not playing the blame game, the allegation battles or the accusing wars.
Just as everybody thought that a new dawn has come for M'sia's politics, allegations smeared on the paper every now and then, accusing each other like 3 year-olds. "He said that just to ruin my reputation one." "I no friend with you anymore, because you report me of this." Good lord. What happen to all those development stuff that we are suppose to keep track on? What about government's progress on their promises since election? Now, the news are like entertainment tabloids. The Star's headline today: Head-On. Wtf? Will there be boxing rings and firecrackers and uncivilized crowds and dumbass commentators appearing now? Wtf is wrong with you guys? Grow up and do your fucking job. Serve us, not playing the blame game, the allegation battles or the accusing wars.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Campiones
Viva Espana.
The team that I favoured right from the start did not let me down. And for once, the best team won (Euro 2004 was won by the anti-football style and resilient Greeks, not that I hate them tho).
The Spanish Armada reigned throughout the match. Their German counterparts are of no match, save maybe the start of the game and 5 minutes somewhere in the final quarter. Other than that, the sleek short passing and creative play, once again, had triumphed. Added the icing of the cake of course, its my long time favourite, Fernando Torres scoring the vital goal.
I would say that the whole team is much to my admiration. The back four of Puyol, Ramos, Marchena and Capdevilla improved every match and had not conceded any goals in the knockouts. Of course, there is the ever reactive and alert Casillas. The midfield cab boast the best in the world, consisting EURO best man Xavi, the light-footed Silva, creative Iniesta and the ever hard-working Marcos Senna. Upfront, Torres and top-scorer David Villa is the best combination I've seen in the EURO, though sadly Villa cannot participate the final. Even their substitutes are great...Fabregas, Guiza, Xabi Alonso and Santi Carziola. They had the aura to change the game when called for. And not forgetting grumpy old tactician, Arogones.
Thanks for the entertainment, Spain. It is so worth supporting the team all the way.
The decider.
The joy.
The champions.
The team that I favoured right from the start did not let me down. And for once, the best team won (Euro 2004 was won by the anti-football style and resilient Greeks, not that I hate them tho).
The Spanish Armada reigned throughout the match. Their German counterparts are of no match, save maybe the start of the game and 5 minutes somewhere in the final quarter. Other than that, the sleek short passing and creative play, once again, had triumphed. Added the icing of the cake of course, its my long time favourite, Fernando Torres scoring the vital goal.
I would say that the whole team is much to my admiration. The back four of Puyol, Ramos, Marchena and Capdevilla improved every match and had not conceded any goals in the knockouts. Of course, there is the ever reactive and alert Casillas. The midfield cab boast the best in the world, consisting EURO best man Xavi, the light-footed Silva, creative Iniesta and the ever hard-working Marcos Senna. Upfront, Torres and top-scorer David Villa is the best combination I've seen in the EURO, though sadly Villa cannot participate the final. Even their substitutes are great...Fabregas, Guiza, Xabi Alonso and Santi Carziola. They had the aura to change the game when called for. And not forgetting grumpy old tactician, Arogones.
Thanks for the entertainment, Spain. It is so worth supporting the team all the way.
The decider.
The joy.
The champions.
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