Lost Phone

Statement and Tribute to my phone.

One year and 3 months ago, My Motorola E398 started a journey which saw the phone serving me loyally and embarked on a process of making my communication with others a success.

Throuout the period, these are the contributions which my dear E398 has contributed since its purchase worthed RM750:

-Making contacts possible with friends in KL.
-Making me felt closer to my family and friends through long distance calls back in Penang.
-Messages, cute ones, funny ones and of course the formal ones, which is send and received throuout the circle of friends and family I had.
-A quality MP3 player who have given me entertainment whenever I needed to listen to music.
-Sweet memories which I took with the VGA camera.
-Enduring physical toughness which saw scratches here and everywhere on the body of the phone.
-Receiving and sending pictures and stuffs through its Bluetooth technology.
-And lots more...

Alas, after enjoying a fanstatic relationship, I am sad to announce that my E398 will departure from its responsibilty with its owner after the fantastic achievements that it has contributed so far.

I hope that its journey will continue with a proper and much caring owner.
Goodbye my dear E398.....

Song dedicated to my phone:
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so


I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debatin
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing


Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home


You know, the place you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing


Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home


I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin and hatin' and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it


Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home

__________________________________________________

To the one who picked up...and do not have the guts to do the right thing:

Fuck you! And go to hell! God damn you!
You are a sick person...no, not person...u are nothing compared to a dog...
Fuck you!
Curse your family for having a son/daughter like you...
Curse your next generation...let them be deformed asses..
Wahahaha!

Chaos

Lately, my whole body is in a chaotic mode, physically, mentally and emotionally speaking.

The physical part. Well, have been sleeping late or even no sleep at all...thx to exams...now after it...I got used to it..which is why I am blogging at this hour..6am..yep...got it right..6A.M...Damn..my sleep system is totally changed...and I nearly missed my last exam paper...phew..close...(woke up at 8.52 when the exam is suppose to start at 9)...Anyway, the sleep system really freaks me out...

The mental part. Exam is when you are supposed to get stressed. Instead, I am in tidak-apa mood on the eve of my test...that ain't right. I mean, i felt stressed 2 weeeks before the exams... and at the eve of the exam..its jz gone...I even went for yam cha session during 12am -3am...eve of exam, man. My parents will kill me if they read this. Heh.

The emotional part. Sigh...suddenly i felt very empty...I can't sense love....or isit? What I meant was, suddenly love seems to go away...I can't feel whether if I love somebody or the other way round..no, not even my parents' love(probably something to do with the distance and duration not being with them...)..But hell...feeling empty is jz uncomfortable...nobody to think of and care of...its jz creepy.

Something seems to be wrong somewhere....er... everywhere...

Into The Final(s)

Yep....there are a lot of things that is concerning my life coming into the final stages...

First of all, my fave team, Liverpool FC, has reached the FA Cup Finals, by kicking the ungraceful Chelsea(sorry Chelsea fans, but what ur manager said and done is really cocky..) asses.. thus set a date of clash with West Ham United.















John-Arne Riise (#6) breaks Chelsea's heart with this free-kick.















Luis Garcia added salt into Chelsea's wound and celebrated.

And thus , with that, they won 2-1, destroyed Chelsea's dream of a Double, and a cup on the way into their cabinets...which of course, provided they performed well....in the Finals.

Next, saw my fave team, the Spanish version, Barcelona, going into the Finals of the European Champions League, with the Gooners...sorry, the Gunners (Arsenal)...waiting them.

















Joy, yeap, lets just hope they celebrated once more in the Finals...
By the way, they are Champions in making in the La Liga...erm..Real Who?

Then, I have come to complete my first year in Diploma for Counselling/Psychology....which I have an interesting, exciting and breath-taking year in TARC, KL. My coursemates are great...my hostel mates are great...the course itself is great(save for some sucky lecturers)...Life's here its just great...thanks everyone involved in my life here in KL, you know who you are, its a long list...so I won't be mentioning here....Once again, Thanks.

For my wonderful friends in CPS, its your final year in TARC...and sigh, sad to say...y'all have to move on...BUT....no matter where you go...our friendship ain't going to end just like that...In fact, its just the begining of a friendship yet to blossom in the coming years..so keep in contact often..will definately miss y'all!!

Here we go...into the finals....

Of Angels and Devils Part 2

So, as the dual of fates went on....

I got back my coswork for Malaysian Culture..and I think, noo..i mean, its definately an unsatisfied grade i have. 23 out of 4o. WTH? Now I must score as much as 75/100 in the exams to score an A, which is somthing close to the word spelled: I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E.

*Angel, having the determination increased, strike with double slice. Devil backed out.*

Than next came the Counselling Coursework Marks....erm...not bad for the second assignment...but I am worried for the first one...I dunno the marks but I have this feeling its not going to get high marks...and the Coursework stands 60% of the whole subject. F***!!

*Angel, armed with much more increased determination, strikes a critical blow on devil.*

So, with the only hope for A, that is malaysian culture virtually invissible. And with the curse of Counselling subject not yet dispelled. That leaves the other subject, English, as the only saviour.

*Angel, strikes again. Devil parried and countered with triple blow. Angel fall into pit, saved by holding to a hook.*

And it ain't any saviour. Coz as I mentioned in previous blog, the fact that every year there's only 1 or 2 people got A for English ain't helping to build any motivation.

*Devil looked down. Angel looked up from the pit. Hoping that devil will jz kill him off quickly.*

So, with motivation and courseworks marks(a.k.a. salvation marks)gone, everything seems lost. Erm...wait...perhaps somthing can save the day. Something they call....pressure. Yes, pressure helps? Probably. Pressure back home, pressure of maintaining ur CGPA and pressure from peers and lecturerers, pressure not to fail. Yes, that WILL inspire. New found hope.

*Angel saw its HarpSaber beside Devil. With the usage of the force, he grabbed the HarpSaber, and jumped up, kicked Devil's ass, and blow! the devil fell into the pit.*

Yes, perhaps pressure, for all these years, is the best remedy to inspire.

The light side thriumph once again....

Of Angels and Devils

This week is going to be a stressful week. As with so many things are left undone, I should be htting the panic button...or am I? Lets see what my angel and devil have to say...

Angel:(poof out on my left shoulder) Oi, time to study liao lo...one week more dude...

Devil: (poof out on my right shoulder) What la....still got one more week la...why panic?

Angel: Thats the point...one more week...and you haven't touch one single page.

Devil: Oh? Anyway...never mind la....how many subjects you got? 3? Hey that aint a lot..

Angel: Noo, don't listen to him. Damn, you got like 16 chapters of Malaysian culture, a dozen stacks of notes for counselling, not to mention English....

Devil: (playing with his fork) Hey, cool man! Its only 16 short chapters. Out of dozen stacks, u need only to study half of it. Plus the lecturer sucks..yeah, u wrote it in the evaluation form remember? And English? How to study English? Tell me la...

Angel: Sigh. Remember u get B for English? And u wana break ur record of gettin' B for subjects that has a Counselling word on it, right?

Devil: C'mon, dude. ONE MORE WEEK. Relax dude. U have soo many games to play yet. And remember u won't be having a lot of time to relax during the hols....Jom....DotA.

Angel: Oh my god. Not again? Please. This is ur last change to get full As, dude. Don't you want to?

Devil: (interupted) Dude, where got hope get full A? Lecturer said that there will be only one or 2 people geetin' A for English, and its goin' to be hard. Forget bout it. Don't want DotA? Nvm. Still have CS and FIFA 06.

Angel: Nono..don't fall into the dark side. Its not the time. Think about ur family, think about ur parents.

Devil: Wahaha. The Dark side is luring, isn't it? Come join the dark side!

Angel: Nooo. Don't sucumb to them.

Angel draws out the HarpSaber, Devil draws out the TriFork Saber. Dual of the Fates started.....*Star Wars themes on the way*

Outcome?
Coming soon.

Get on!

This blog is a tribute to my fellow brave friends in hostel.

Right, get to know them first...Mr Kuhan and Mr Jem...
They had a seriously f*cked-up 2006 to start with...both of their partners..i mean ex-partners dumped(soory, not a good word to use, my vocab is limited...forgive please) them for some erm....guys that are seriously close to nothing compared to them.

And what so amazing about them, is how they bounced back. Yup.
First, Kuhan. Now an accomplished rapper with an Ep to credit for. A promising rapper on the rise. Love their music. Basically, breaking up was painful. Yes, you did feel sad. But how you accept the truth and get on with life is what I respect u for.

The same goes for my roomie, Jem...First, I have to say sorry coz...I duno how to comfort u...just can be by ur side when u r sad...paise paise....hehe. Neways, the speed of ur recovery is seriously fast and I think getting on with ur life is a no problem situaton for u. Anyway, salute la....I duno how will cope if I get in such situation...esp when u have so many unfortunae events around at the same time.

So, basically, they set the example that in life, the most important thing is to stand up and look forward. Not to look at the past and sigh at it.

Once again...to Jem and Kuhan...r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

Good luck to you all!

DOTA Sux!

I should have said it long time ago.....Yes, it sux, it kills.
DotA gives u a hell ride in ur live and may cause u ur future.

Right, I was...NOT a DotA freak...but seeing how my friends indulge in them...I seriously have to condemn that game....it has so far buried a lot of bright futures.

I stopped DotA-ing like a year ago....well, did play occasionally tho, for socialising sake...but hey, jz by watching those freaks playing them seriously freaks me out.

In some particular CC.....

Computer one: Owning! Triple Kill!
Computer two: Godlike! Owning! Ma..ma...ma...ma..ma...master kill!
Computer one user: Wahaha!! CCB...reaper kill u!
Computer two user: Nabeh! I kill 24 d...I am God!

Yes, yes...u all are...I am impressed...

Come back from CC, on the way to my room, 3 guys squating on the corridor, talking loudly...

Guy one: Mahai, use Necrolyte's Reaper...fooyoh...owning duno how many times
Guy two: CB la....dunno which guy buy MKB and Sacred Relic...then wait me there...kill me duno how many times.
Guy three: Sohai....go use XX hero la....
Guy two: Mahai, u talk clever la...call u come help me...where u go? Nabeh..

The conversation goes on for like 1 hour...

Frustrating la...these people seriously don't have a clue what time it is...its 2am, and they are shouting and bragging like this is their granma's house about DotA...

I bet some freaks doesn't even noe what DotA stands for..just do noe how to shout "Jom, DotA join kei, DotA join kei!"

Yes, DotA kills. I have seen friends who took glory in their studies failed their courses, friends who neglect even their health by sitting all day in front of DotA, friends who are becoming less friendly as before, friends who spent all their account money on DotA...sigh.

Everywhere I go, DotA seems to be on every mouth....like WTF? Can't u guys get bored...its always the same map with 3 routes and the same old heroes with the same old ingrdients...

Its not wrong to play DotA...but to indulge in it and neglected ur studies, ur friends and health and even cheating ur parents money jz for that...it is not worth it. Seriously,...

Be a man!
Do the right thing!
Say 'tak nak' to DotA.

Its Just Wasn't Right

Arrrgh...i dunno what happen to me...i m now in a serious moody...well...mood...
Problem is I dunno what is bothering me...suddenly i got this feeling I am freakingly empty...lost...alone. I don't feel like I am myself. Why?

Recent events maybe roots to it...First of all, my roomie was in a series of unfortunate events...which I seriously sympathise...which of course dampens the mood of Room H G-14...which of course had an impact on me....sigh...its just wasn't right

Then, I catch cold, had flu, muscle aches like hell...and still I have classes to go...then I have Orientation Night to ponder about....and of course most of all...final exams...which is very very near...and worst still...I m not doin' anything about it...Where is inspiration? It is suppose to be here with me whenever the time comes..but now? Its just wasn't right...

I m talking lesser to my friends...I dunno,...i felt i wanted to be alone...yet...i miss their chatters and laughs....it just wasn't right...

On top of everything....I MISS HOME!!

I am homesick....i dunno why is this happenin to me esp its been one year i've settled down in KL....the feeling just came suddenly....i had to admit...i felt like crying....i miss home....sob....i miss my family.....I dunno why...but probably to think that everybody is working...including my sister ...just to support me for my studies...makes me aprreciates them more...yes, economically, its been hard...but to think that my mom, which has been a responsible housewife ever since I was born...suddenly have to find a job...and my sis, who have to work so young, at a age where I am still studying...and my dad...who is suppose to be retired, but is still earning hard to support the family...For me ....it seems to be very hard for me to accept...For me....its just wasn't right.

And here I am, in KL, spending money, talking about no inspiration to study...I felt so F*** up...worthless....

Its just wasn't right.


Epilogue:
After a series of diagnosing, it seems that I am in a situation, which people term it as---- Depression.

CCBs and FCUKs

Recently, my classmates commented on my f*ckin dirty mouth(see? again...). Yeah, i noe they don't like it...and so do I....but what to do? Tell you why....

Well, I came from Penang...and they say that Hokkien is the worst, dirtiest dialect. Yeah, pratically we start a sentence by asking hows ur mom and ends up with simply one of the sex organs you can name it. How vulgar isit u think?

Next, I am from an all boys school, which makes me much more worse. Imagine this, every morning, u came into the class by 6.30am, which is the blurest time and when your mood's the worst....whack a sleeping classmate's head, and say : "CCB, my table! Wake up lo...ur mother le."
Hmm....come to think to it....I really felt guilty...but hey, who cares that time...everybody, i mean some of us always did that. So, on we went for the whole day in a freakingly humid class, and the mood jz aint going any better, and thus the mouth become dirtier. CCB

Now, I'm in college. And the thing doesn't just go like that. Its already a habit. Worse still, I am now cursin' in front of girls, which is disgusting, come to think of it. Somehow, it is hard to change. Guys, seriously I am trying hard to change. Forgive me. Like damn.

I remember once I had this conversation with my secondary school mate

Me: Oi, KNCCB, don do like that la!
Friend: CB, don say rude word la. F*** u la! PKM!

Sigh. WTF...i mean WTH? its hard, real hard..
Okok. Blaming on where I came from and my ethnicity ain't right. Its jz....me...again. Honestly, its ur own determination whether u want to change or not. So, guys, next time I am on the verge of saying rude words, well, I don't care, whack me, slap me, kick me...nono i mean, try to scare me with those actions k? Don't actually do it.

Wish me luck. CCB...*whacked*...ouch!

ATCLS & OON

This time around, TARC come out with this Adjust to College Life Series(ATCLS) with the main aim of making the life for freshies comfortable as they step into a new enviroment. So, I joined the fun of meeting leng chais and leng luis for next year....and we have to be trained to become a facilitator. Basically, the training is to let us understand how we attend the freshies. So, we need some basic helper and counselling skills to do so...and thats what the training is for....

So, early early in da morning.....lets say 8.30?( thats early for saturdays)...i have to crawl out my oh-soo-comfortable bed to get to the sports complex in TARC. Obviously, once again, the event did not start until its like half an hour into the schedulled time.

Eventually, I found out that the whole training thingy is what we learn in my course day in , day out. And it gets bored when you are hearing the same, i mean similiar, thing over n over again...
















Miss Lum,the head of the counselling unit giving talks.


So, we have to listen to "lectures" about how to be a good helper, which counselling students are currently learning every week.

Next, came the session when we went into groups of 3 or 4 to take turns in becoming the observer, the helper and the helpee.
















Poor Charles is sufferin from our ad. dip. seniors' mastery in the arts of counselling.

Fast forwarding to the end of the training session, its fun...ahem, sorry...not very fun. Okok, its fun because, just because, you are meeting new people from other courses learning to become helpers. Somebody told me counselling is easy at the beggining. At the end of the day, the same person complained that its exhausting.*smirk*

Nothing is easy, dude. Honestly, just by listening to the client is tiring enough...which reminds me that I want, and will be majoring in Psychology after Diploma. Counselling? Not really suit me. Still, learining is fun...in a way.

......................................................................................................................................

Orientation and Oddysey Nite is the equilavent of a beauty pagent for TAR College. Every year, freshies are being chose to become the King and Queen. And hey, it took a lot of effort and process to select the right ones..and train them to become the chosen one. As its a major event for orientation week, in came the interviews for commitees that are to setup the whole event. And I went for the interview.

Eventually, I got Asst. Security Director( its now called, Asst. Man Power Director or something..), which is quite close to what I want in the first place( interviewd for Secu. Director).
For a start, we have our first meeting, introduced who's who, get to know each other and listened speeaches from the High-Coms. I found out who's my Director...and we *cough* get along *cough* very *cough, cough*......well. And we get down to business immediately.

Mission: To assure OON is save from terrorist bombings...ya, right.
: To get helpers for the event.
: To get leng chais and leng luis for the audition.

Frankly, its the easiest job among the commitees. We don't have to find sponsors, design everything for the event, publicise and promote, arrange programs etc etc. All we have to do is boss around with a walkie talkie...err...i mean, to assure the safety of the event.

In conclusion, its an experience worth getting for in both events. Its a smash-and-grab chance in college. And I m not going to miss it.