I believe in Feng Shui, partially at least. And to see my ass kicked time and again is sort of exhausting. I am totally worn out by now.
So, they say that bad things comes serially, in mandarin (huo bu dan xing). As if going pokai is not enough, my car bat was gone again last night, so I have to borrow roomie's scooter bike to go yam cha at TBR. It rebelled and I crashed. External injury. Pain. Agony. And there goes my cash again. RM130 for just the signal lights. Sob.
I ponder upon the calamity that was torturing me these few days and wonder whether it had come in full circle yet. I hope it already did. Apart from the physical and financial disasters, there is the psychological and emotional struggle that threaten to rip me off anytime from the inside. People around me changed, for the good, the bad and the ugly. And partly, I had to adapt to those changes. Shrugged these off as test of faith was the easiest avoidance technique, but to this level, it had little effect as consolation.
I talked to mom this afternoon about all those non-scientific stuff as in being so sui and every nightmare seems to come true thing. She said it was sometimes a patch of life. I agree. But never had I felt so fatigued and energy-draining. How I wish I can like cut-and-paste good file patches of life into this struggling period.
I have to go through this. It is a matter of perception and I definitely knew better for being a psychology student. But sometimes and maybe just sometimes, luck, fate and all those Feng Shui stuff sort of intervened and I can't really disregard them. Part of me is still religious.
....and to make matter worse, PM announced the price of petrol goes up to RM2.70 from Rm1.92 moments ago. Mere coincidence? I doubt that.
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